Making Space
By Sue Careless
I AM certainly not a hoarder or even a messy but my husband and I have lived in the same house for 45 years so it is easy to let things accumulate. Two of my four children rent small spaces so we also store some of their possessions. And we have kept quite a few toys and books for our grandchildren to enjoy when they visit. I work from home so have a home office full of books, papers and photos (both personal and professional). My husband finds it easier to dispose of things than I do; I am more sentimental. I will never be a minimalist but neither is my house full of knick-knacks.
Two years ago I helped my elderly parents downsize from a 3-story home they had lived in for 56 years to a suite in a retirement residence. Now I eye all my own belongings differently, knowing that one day (hopefully in the far distant future) I may have to let many of them go.
And like millions of people I have watched the eight-part reality series on Netflix, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. In the series we meet the cheerful little dynamo Marie Kondo who, at only 35, helps very different people bring order out of the chaos of their homes.
Some of the families profiled have huge houses but still have problems storing all their stuff. One is a widow trying to cope with the recent loss of her husband. She wants to remember him and yet move on. It is particularly touching. The most challenging is a couple with two children in their early teens who have downsized from a house in Michigan to a two-bedroom apartment in California. There are better work opportunities for them in the west but they desperately need help finding space for themselves and their possessions. Some couples have toddlers or are preparing for the arrival of a new baby. All except the widow are living with at least one other person and must sort out not only their own belongings but also shared space and shared stuff.
The streaming series is far more inspiring than Kondo’s first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (2014). Kondo’s second book Spark Joy (2016) is an illustrated guide and so a better bet. But start with the series if you can. Then see if you can stop tidying up. It is addictive.
Here are her key principles followed by a few modifications and reservations.
Declutter first, store later. Discard before you clean and organize. Before you go out and buy or rent more storage units, you need to examine whether every item you own is really worth keeping.
Sort by category not by location. Instead of decluttering one room at a time, say the kitchen or bedroom, playroom or garage, Kondo has you declutter by type of item – say all the clothes or all books in your home, no matter in how many different rooms they may be scattered.
Sort in this order:
Clothing
Books
Papers (practical not sentimental)
Komono (miscellany)
Leave sentimental memorabilia and photos to the last.
Only keep what sparks joy. Ask of every item as you hold it, “Does this spark joy?” Keep things because you love them or you really need them, not “just because.” Choosing what you want to keep, not what you want to get rid of, is a more positive approach. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t worn the item for years, or if it no longer fits, if it sparks joy just looking at it in your closet, then keep it. This may be a wedding or prom dress or a special jacket. But she will ask you to consider the life you hope to lead in the future and if you have room for it in your closet. This does-it-spark-joy approach may seem silly over a can opener, but if you have two, one might make you happier than the other – so get rid of one. As you let go of items you are not going to keep she suggests thanking them. You may not want to talk to inanimate objects, but as Christians we can thank God and be grateful for all he has given us. Joy and gratitude seem better motivations than guilt and shame.
Sort your own things first. Later work on shared possessions. Each family is different, but in our household I see the kitchen and dining room stuff as more my responsibility while the workshop is my husband’s domain. But we would both need to go through old LPs together. Shared stuff is tricky and needs collaboration.
A few years ago, when all our children were adults but before we had any grandchildren, we had a large collection of children’s books. My son Philip had a brilliant, very Kondo, idea. He took all the books off their various shelves and laid them out on the floor. He then invited each of us to put back on the shelves the books which we personally wanted to keep. (It didn’t matter if only one of the six of us wanted that book, it would stay.) Then after the exercise all the books still remaining on the floor were either donated or recycled.
Never pile things. Vertical storage is far superior to stacking. Things on the bottom of a pile get lost or forgotten. I never can get beyond step 2 of any origami project so I rather feared Kondo’s folding and rolling up method with clothing that is stored in drawers. But it works. I even saved so much space I could give back a drawer that I had stolen from my husband years ago. Now when I open a drawer I can see everything in it. Nothing is neglected and hidden under something else.
Use shoe boxes and smaller boxes to organize small items in drawers. (Even before Kondo was popular, I knew it was wiser to empty a messy drawer completely and then put back only what I wanted to keep – much more efficient than just removing the odd item.)
Tidy thoroughly and completely in a single marathon, even if it takes a month. Kondo claims that clients who follow her method will appear to have a very messy home as they sort through everything but when the process is completed, they do not have any serious relapses.
Some modifications and reservations
Kondo would have you take all your clothes out of your closets and drawers and pile them up in one place. This certainly makes for dramatic television: one client’s enormous pile nearly reached the ceiling. The one huge pile approach does sober you up if you are a hoarder or into retail therapy. But all eight households in the Netflix series live in sunny California, not Canada with its four seasons. If you have already separated your winter from your summer clothes it seems silly to throw them all together.
She takes the same approach with books. They should be all taken out of every room and piled in one place for sorting. Now if you have already arranged your book collection into say cookbooks and children’s books why would you throw them into the same pile with your English literature and murder mysteries?
But yes, take them off the shelves. She has you tap them to wake them up; surely it’s better to open the covers! Her principle of “If you haven’t read it yet, you probably never will so discard it” seems unreasonable. And cutting out the pages you really like seems brutal. She herself admits to owning only 30 books and storing them on her shoe racks.
Book lovers probably consider books a sentimental category. I found it easier sorting through cleaning supplies and toiletries before books. (Why were we living with four large containers of baby powder, with no baby in the house?) It was a breeze decluttering dishes, pots and pans (which Kondo calls miscellany) and then hitting the books after that success.
Papers can be tough and overwhelming too, especially for writers, teachers and academics. I did paper sorting after the miscellany and still have a way to go. But I was pleased to throw out (recycle) no less than 36 notebooks. Many were simply daily to-do lists that are crucial in the moment but of no lasting value. Others were notes from interviews I’d conducted over the years. These gave me more pause but I still have the tapes and the best quotes are hopefully in the articles I wrote.
Although Kondo does not discuss electronic mail, I got keen one morning and reduced over three thousand emails to 707.
I still have photos to go through but I surprise myself when I open a drawer or look at a book case and see everything arranged so clearly. I feel I have become re-acquainted with many of my possessions and I’ve discovered some things I’d completely forgotten about. Duplicates have been culled and borrowed items are being returned.
The faith factor
Whether you decide to keep a lot or a little, Marie Kondo’s decluttering exercise encourages you to cherish what you own and be content. I will think twice now before I buy another book, blouse or baking dish. Christians are not to despise the body and the material world, but neither are we to be consumed by it. We own possessions but are not to be owned by them. We are to depend on God and find our security in him, not in our belongings.
Remember the parable Jesus told of the rich farmer whose land produced so much?
“He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ And he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns, and build larger ones; and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; take your ease, eat, drink, be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you; and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ Luke 12:16-20 (RSV)
Be generous. Since the Netflix series aired in January there has been more than the usual New Year’s surge in clothing and household donations to charities. (It helps to designate a specific space in your home in which to store donations.)
Many North Americans will find Kondo’s practice of talking to inanimate objects strange. She makes a ritual of greeting her clients’ homes before she starts to work, kneeling and praying for two minutes for help in creating a space where the family can enjoy a happier life. She encourages her clients to thank their homes for sheltering them. When she is about to discard an item she recommends thanking it first.
Kondo, who is Japanese, writes briefly of her Shinto background and the influence of Feng Shui. Her decluttering method, however, does not depend on these practices.
Christians can be thankful to God for their homes and the bounty he has given them. When they enter any dwelling, their own included, they can pray: “Peace be to this house, and to all that dwell in it.” (BCP 576, based on Luke 10:5) They can let objects go by thanking God for them and, if they are being donated, praying that they might bring joy to the next owner.
Most of us are not being called to a monastic life with its vow of poverty. But as Christians we are being called to a life of simplicity and grace – being good stewards of our earthly goods and feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and showing hospitality even to strangers. Those of us who are married promise our spouse: “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee honour, and all my worldly goods with thee I share….” (BCP 566)
These two prayers sum it up well for all Christians:
