What the Queen’s Funeral Taught Us
By Sue Careless
WE LEARNED a lot about Queen Elizabeth II and her strong Christian faith from her state funeral at Westminster Abbey and later her committal service at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. And we saw the various ways many of her subjects showed their deep affection and respect for their sovereign.
What will our funerals say about us and our faith?
Words are important, so the prayers and hymns we choose matter. But symbols and gestures ‘speak’ loudly too.
Most of the liturgies and ceremonies on Sept. 19th had been personally chosen by the Queen many years earlier. A great number of the lessons, anthems and prayers at both services were ones that can be found in our Canadian 1962 Book of Common Prayer.
None of us will have anywhere near all the pomp and ceremony the Queen had. Few of us are likely to have military parades and 96-gun salutes. But could a flag be lowered? Could a bell be tolled?
At my mother’s funeral in a small Ontario town, the Anglican priest allowed her great grandchildren to pull the rope of the single steeple bell. That is what most of them will best remember. And at the close of the service, we all sang a cappella “Golden Slumbers,” a gentle lullaby that she had sung to her children and that had been passed down and sung to her children’s children and their children.
True, we need to be careful what music is chosen. Many churches will not allow secular songs like “I Did It My Way” at funeral services. But even the Queen had the traditional lullaby “Sleep, Dearie, Sleep” played by a piper. And as Christians we believe the faithful departed go to rest in the Lord until the last awakening. “Rest in peace and rise in glory,” we proclaim.
The more we can involve the mourners the better. At a Macedonian Orthodox burial I attended, one floral bouquet was pulled apart and a flower given to every mourner to toss into the open grave after the ceremonial handfuls of earth had first been scattered.
At my mother-in-law’s graveside, the minister led us in proclaiming the Apostles’ Creed. “I believe in the resurrection of the dead” takes on added power and poignancy when recited in a cemetery.
Certainly, words we know in one context can take on added significance in another setting. The lovely canticle “Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace” is a regular part of Evensong but is also most fitting at a Christian funeral.
So is the hymn “The Day Thou Gavest, Lord, is Ended.” The Queen chose it as the first hymn to be sung in Westminster Abbey where among the mourners were 90 world leaders from around the Commonwealth and globe, as well as European and Japanese royalty. Their presence makes the last verse all the more striking:
So be it, Lord; thy throne shall never,
like earth’s proud empires, pass away;
thy kingdom stands, and grows for ever,
till all thy creatures own thy sway.
Then the last hymn at Westminster, “Love Divine all loves excelling,” packs a similar punch in its last verse: “…‘Til we cast our crowns before thee / Lost in wonder, love and praise.”
The only crowns most of us ever wear are paper ones found in Christmas crackers. The Queen did not own a crown but had several entrusted to her. Her Imperial State Crown, along with her royal Sceptre and Orb, which had been prominently displayed on her coffin, were not buried with her, nor were they immediately given to her successor, King Charles III.
The sceptre represents the Crown’s power and governance, while the golden-jeweled ball which is surmounted by a gem-encrusted cross symbolizes that the monarch’s power is derived from God. The clergy and congregation all stood in silence while these “Instruments of State” were removed from her coffin and placed on the high altar in St George’s Chapel just prior to the casket begin lowered into the vault.
No words were said, but it was clear that the Queen’s authority to reign came from God and was being returned to him before another monarch would be entrusted with them in a later coronation service. She would enter heaven not so much as a queen but as “thy servant Elizabeth,” “thy daughter Elizabeth” and “our sister.”
Westminster Abbey had been the place of her wedding in 1947 and her coronation in 1953. For her coronation Ralph Vaughan Williams composed the anthem “O taste and see that the Lord is good’ based on Psalm 34:8. Elizabeth chose it to be sung again this time for her funeral in the same sacred space. Was she hoping that others might also “taste and see” the goodness of her Lord?
Mourners want to do something – show some gesture of affection or respect for the deceased.
It is estimated that more than 250,000 people quietly passed the Queen’s coffin while it lay in state in Westminster Hall. Some doffed their hats, bowed their heads or made the sign of the cross. They had waited hours to show their last respects. In small Canadian communities, traffic will pull over to the side of the road when a funeral cortege passes.
In recent decades families of the deceased have often stated that “Flowers are gratefully declined.” Instead, a donation to a charity close to the heart of the deceased is suggested. Yet at the site of tragic accidents, impromptu memorials of wooden crosses, flowers, candles and teddy bears often spring up. And after the sudden deaths of both Princess Diana and the Queen, there was a flood of garden-picked or cellophane-wrapped bouquets – enough to fill several public parks.
Another possibility, perhaps in lieu of flowers or charitable donations, is simply to suggest engaging in an activity that was close to the heart of the deceased. When my father died during lockdown, we wrote:
If you wish to celebrate Ralph’s remarkable life, why not:
Write a letter to the editor * Complete a cryptic crossword puzzle * Play some Scrabble * Drink some ginger wine * Recite Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If” * Swim the breaststroke * Advocate for refugees and the Developing World * Eat some Licorice All Sorts * Hold politicians accountable * See as much of the world as you can * Keep abreast of current events * Cheer the Blue Jays * Piece together a jigsaw * Belt out Good King Wenceslas * Organize an obstacle course for a family reunion * Praise a child * Delight in a grandchild * Hug a great-grandchild
This gives mourners both an insight into the deceased beyond their worldly accomplishments and something they can actually do to remember them.
Some will say, often out of humility, “I don’t want any fuss when I die” but don’t realize that the mourning rituals are very much for those left behind to help them cope. Not marking a significant death (and isn’t every human’s passing significant?) is not helpful in the long run for those grieving.
Some are reluctant to attend a funeral for fear of not knowing what to say or worse still, saying the wrong thing. True, words are never enough. But just your presence is a gift. If there is a book to sign, sign it. Often the immediate family cannot take in who is present in the midst of their swirling grief, but looking at all the names listed is a comfort later on.
The last half-century has seen a huge shift from burial to cremation for environmental and financial reasons. The Eastern Orthodox Church still opposes cremation on the grounds that it makes the Christian belief in the resurrection of the body less “visible.” It was easier to envision the Queen’s body when we saw her coffin than if her remains had been placed in an urn.
I doubt that eight strong men would be found willing and able to carry my coffin. Yet for mourners to walk behind a coffin as it proceeds from the church to a nearby cemetery is still possible in some older or rural communities. Again, another way mourners can silently participate.
None of us will be announcing a death on palace gates but funeral homes now post obituaries on their websites, along with messages of consolation. Small towns let families leave cards on shop counters to tell of a local resident’s passing.
Since the lockdown that prevented many public funerals, the obituaries published in newspapers have become longer and usually include one photo and sometimes two.
Instead of simply displaying a few framed photographs at a visitation or reception, computers allow us to show scores of images accompanied by a sound track.
I carefully curated my mother’s life through each of her nine decades and was at first dismayed when the photos got jumbled, jumping from a skipping six-year-old to a great-grandmother and back to a war bride. But in the end the mix-up seemed more appropriate. She was, after all, the same soul dancing through all those decades. It also made viewing her life more exciting. After all, who might turn up with her in the next image? You couldn’t be sure.
Many today don’t want a funeral at all or find a funeral home chapel convenient. But the Queen (granted she had far more guests to accommodate – 2,000 at Westminster Abbey and 800 at St George’s Chapel) showed us the importance of being mourned in the place where she had worshipped in the past. Prince Philip’s funeral was held with only 30 mourners during lockdown but it was held in St George’s Chapel, the same sacred space to which Elizabeth’s body was eventually brought and committed.
There is today a shift from a funeral to a Celebration of Life. It certainly sounds less morbid. But again, the Queen showed us that a Christian funeral can be not only a solemn and dignified occasion, but also one filled with quiet joy and hope.
There was no eulogy but the Archbishop of Canterbury offered a brief but powerful sermon. (Prince Philip requested neither eulogy nor sermon at his funeral.) Some churches now allow an open mic in the service where everyone and anyone can share a thought. Sometimes, though, speakers end up saying more about themselves than about the dearly departed.
This is not to say that there can’t be some celebration in the reception after the service with anecdotes and memories shared both publicly and privately. But when it happens in the midst of a church service the focus too easily shifts back to the past and the departed and away from the future hope of the resurrection and God’s goodness and grace.
The Queen taught us much in her life but also much in her death. Thanks be to God. TAP
